Thursday, July 23, 2009

Just when you think that you have it all together...

I wasn’t going to write today. I’ve been out of town and missed so many days anyway, it seemed like the right thing to do. Especially since I woke up feeling physically not well…and mentally even worse.

Of course, I’m feeling a little lonesome for the family that I had to leave, even though it’s wonderful to be back with my own family. I just see Bro’s family so seldom that it’s hard to say goodbye.

I know that I am suffering from “jet lag”, that post-vacation syndrome in which all of the running and not sleeping that you did on vacation comes back to haunt you. I’d also suffered from allergies or some sort of cold, and that was wearing on me. And of course, coming back from vacation, you are always overwhelmed by the realities of life that come back all at once, like bills and responsibilities.

Before I left, I put some spare jewelry in a Ziploc baggy…everything gets packed in Ziploc bags…but it never made it to my destination. I’m really not sure that I actually packed it, as it was one of the last things to be packed, and I was debating as to where it should be stowed for safekeeping. There wasn’t anything of great value – monetarily speaking, anyway – but they were things that meant a lot to me and I cannot find them anywhere.

I’m frustrated by a world that places such a value on dishonesty, and rewards this heavily. I always fall short because I can’t seem to get it through my thick skull that honesty may be the best policy, but it means that you will never catch a lucky break.

When I get into this sort of mood, it’s easy to see the cracks in the sidewalk, so to speak. To see that the state of the economy is scary and getting scarier. The news is never good. A ten year old girl that disappeared in our area before I left has not been found. Iranian guards are raping young girls to make their executions legal.

I turn to my “happy things”…a technique that I’ve employed with my depression for many years. I go to the things that make me happy, like scrapbooking, reading, and so on. I’ve not had a lot of time to do these things, as I’m unpacking and have other things that NEED to be done. Or at least, I have myself convinced that they should be. What I need to do is stop with the things that are making me crazy today and just do what I want to do, what will make me whole again for my family.

Here are some techniques that my therapist recommended, and I highly recommend to everyone:

1) Recognize that you are sinking. You need to catch it before it drags you into the depths and you are unable to pull yourself out.

2) Do something that makes you feel good! You should have a list of things that you enjoy doing, things that make you happy. Activities, sounds, sights, anything that you can bring to mind to ease your troubled soul. Take the time today to do three things that are on your list, especially when you are recognizing a downward trend.

3) When all else fails, let today be your down day. Cry if you need to, feel sorry for yourself, and wallow a bit. But promise yourself that you will not allow this tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, and you can overcome these feelings of hopelessness then.

I think that I’ll take some Tylenol, let the tears flow, and pull out some pictures to scrapbook. I’ll hang with my family and ignore the dog hair that has accumulated in the corners, the suitcases that need to be unpacked, and the bills that have yet to be paid. I may plant some crops on FarmTown and read a little Harry Potter.

Tomorrow, we’ll face the world again.

1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel, it can be so easy to let life get you down. Thanks for posting the 3 steps, I like that it is ok to let yourself wallow and feel bad for yourself for a day but then make the next day better. Most of us don't relize the power we have on ourselves. We build the imaginary walls just by the way we think.