Being a Wrestler's Mom means...

…that you have actually told your child on more than one occasion – “You probably shouldn’t eat tonight!”

…that it doesn’t surprise you to see your child running in 4 layers of clothing the night before a match. Likewise, you don’t even have to ask why they are sucking on lemons and spitting in a bottle.

…that you had better have your Christmas preparations done before December when tournaments start, or it’s not getting done.

…that you can recite the concessions offerings of nearly every school that you wrestle at.

…that you go to sleep at night with “Half! Half!” ringing in your ears.

…that you will learn to recognize your child’s name being read over the speakers, no matter how bad the announcer massacres it.

…that you know the names – and weights – of every other wrestler on the team.

…that you will sacrifice every Saturday for three months to sitting on bleachers, eating popcorn and nachos for three meals, and getting home late because the heavyweights always seem to make it into the finals.

…that you have to lose the notion of personal space. Wrestling is a close contact sport, and so are the bleachers. Don’t be offended if a wrestler suddenly reaches under your butt to pull out the bag that you happened to sit over the top of.

…that you will catch beautiful shots of your child on the bottom, but somehow, the ones of them winning are always less technically perfect. (When Tux won his first match, I jumped in the air screaming, nearly wet my pants, and took a photo of my feet and the edge of the mat.)

…that you will forever be frustrated by the fact that wrestlers are always more concerned about taking off the leg bands than posing for a good victory picture. I think that it should go something like this…Referee says, “Winner kid, your mom a photographer? Where is she? Okay, turn that direction. Everyone look that way. Keep your arm up here...did it flash? Nope, hold on, let me suck in my gut and let her get another one...okay, she’s smiling. You can go now."

…that you have albums full of pictures of referee butts because they step in front of you just as you snap. You also have a fair amount of shots of wrestler’s groin areas, which you delete before anyone thinks that you took that shot on purpose.

...that when March rolls around, you will be too busy missing the team and the fun you had to realize that you have Saturdays back to yourself again.

…that you know that wrestling is not for the faint of heart. Your child will be squashed, smacked, beaten, contorted, thrown, and wrenched.

…that you have to be there to help your child stand up at least one more time than they are knocked down.

…that when the match is over, someone will have won. Someone will have lost. There’s no one else to share the blame, and there’s no one else to share the glory. It’s all on your child, and you have to be aware of the pressure that places on them.

…that you have to remember that your child has a coach. You are the mom. Love them no matter what.

…that it’s heartbreaking to see someone else’s arm raised at the end of the match.

…that you’ve tried to find a way to pray that your child will win…without praying that another child will lose.

…that you know that whether they win or lose, your child will develop skills that will last them a lifetime. Not just take downs and reversals, but self-reliance, confidence, self-control, discipline, assertiveness, dedication, strength, attitude, and perseverance.

…that once you have watched your kid wrestle, everything else in life is easy.


A couple of other articles that I thought were great regarding parents of wrestlers:

Spoutin' Out
7 Rules for a wrestler's mom

Digital Photo Organization

I take a lot of pictures, sometimes as many as a hundred in a normal day, more if it’s a big event. Digital photography is so freeing, because it allows us to snap that shutter as many times as we want without fearing astronomical processing fees. I only print the ones that I intend to scrapbook. It does create a logistical problem, however, as I attempt to control the chaos that ensues. I’ve developed a system over the years that works really well for me, and I’d like to share it. It is especially helpful this year as I am doing a 365 project, which means that I’m taking even more photos than ever.

I am somewhat sporadic about transferring the pictures from my camera to the computer. Sometimes I will take them off immediately, other times, I wait until the end of the week. I never wait more than a week because it would be far too overwhelming! My camera card will hold so many photos that if I filled it, it would be impossible to deal with. I’m also anxious to see if they look as good on the computer as they do on the little screen (and sadly, some are not!). I use Windows XP, so just be aware that some of the details may be different if you are using another software platform, but the general idea will work.

My file structure is quite simple. I have an [Images] folder, under which all photos will be filed.

When I move photos off of my camera, I move them directly into a folder named [Sorting]. I then immediately rename them by event or topic.

1. Click on the last image in a series, then hold your shift key and click on the first image in the series.
2. Right click on that first file and then select Rename. I name them something that relates to the content, such as Graduation, GY Cache Party, Backyard Antics, Florals, Sunrise, etc. After the name of the series, add the following: “(1)”. Make sure that you do not remove the “.jpg” at the end of the file name; your computer needs this information so that it knows how to deal with that file.
3. Press [enter] when you are done. The computer will then rename each subsequent image Name (2), Name (3), etc. This ensures that all like items are kept together, and in chronological order! (important for event photography) I don’t rename them one by one…first, because it takes too dang long!, but also because I want them to stay together on my computer. I want all of the Graduation photos to be in one big group, rather than spread out throughout my folder. If I named one of them “Hat Throw” and another one “Tassel changing”, they would be filed alphanumerically in H and T, respectively. In between, I might have “Last Day of School” or “Memorial Day BBQ”, and that just bugs me.

At this point, I go through them one by one in the Windows Image Browser, rotating them as necessary, and jotting down numbers of the ones that I will be using so that I can edit them. I delete any absolutely bad photos at this time, but I must say that this rarely happens. I keep even unfocused or otherwise inadequate photos, because they may have captured a moment.

When I’ve completed that, I highlight the ones that I want to edit by holding the [Ctrl] key and then clicking on them. I either right click and select to open it with Photoshop Elements, or I open Photoshop Elements and then drag them into it. You can use any editing software that you choose, but I use Photoshop because it gives me the most professional results.

Once the images are opened, I begin to edit them. I won’t go into a lot of detail here, other than sizing. (that gives me something to talk about in another post!) When I have made any edits that I wish, I choose “Save as” option, then rename the file. I always leave the name and number, then add the following after:

E if I have edited it in any way (contrast, saturation, etc)
C if I have cropped it to true 4x6 or other printable size
A if I have done something artistic to it, like a filter or glow.
S if I have made it a small file for viewing on the web.

Here’s an example. I have pictures from Graduation, and I am saving Graduation (13).jpg as Graduation (13).jpg as Graduation (13) ec.jpg. That way, I know that it is a 4x6 format, edited, and ready for printing. I also wanted to vignette this photo, enhancing the focus on my subject. I made those edits, then save the photo as Graduation (13) eca.jpg. This artistic version is the one that I want to post on websites such as MyFamily, Facebook, Myspace, or my blog. I then resize the image to about 600 pixels on the longest side, then save as Graduation (13) ecas.jpg. I would now have 4 versions of the same photo on my computer, but that’s okay. It is easier to reference them later.

If I get interrupted and I cannot finish my edits, I always save the file in PSD format, instead of JPG. Every time you save a JPG, it loses quality, and you also lose the ability to edit layers, because they will be flattened.

I never NEVER overwrite the original file. I want to be able to go back and start from scratch if necessary, if I am unhappy with edits. Because I work on both a desktop and laptop, I have found that photos edited on my laptop are too saturated or too sharp, and I like to be able to start again. This is why I use the “save as” option always.

Now I can start categorizing the photos by usage. I have additional folders that I use for this purpose, so that nothing gets lost in the shuffle. You will note that I copy the files, rather than moving them, at this point.

I copy the small web-viewable files into a folder called [to be posted], so that I know what has been uploaded and what has not. Once I have uploaded them to wherever they are going to be posted, I delete them from this folder.

I copy the edited and cropped files into a folder called [Print] if I am going to print them in any format. These are usually the ones that I intend to scrapbook, so we’ll come back to them later.

I copy any photos that will be used for the week’s 365 pages into a [365] folder, so that they are easily found when I have a moment to scrapbook them. I’ve been doing this digitally, rather than with conventional scrapbooking, so they don’t need to be printed. Otherwise, I’d copy them into the Print folder.

I then copy any files that are going to be used in any other way…for instance, if I am sharing them with someone else, I’ll copy them into a folder to be burned to CD or copied onto a flash drive.

Once I have disseminated the copies, then I MOVE all everything out of the [Sorting] folder to it’s final archiving area. I have folders for each month of the year, named [2009.1], [2009.2], etc. This naming convention, again, keeps things in chronological order. I may have subfolders inside this monthly folder such as photos of collections or events. You can have a weekly folder, if you would like, numbered by week, but monthly works well for me. I used to keep them by season, but it was too many photos in one place and I could never find anything.

Now, back to the scrapbooking photos in the [Print] folder. I go through these to decide how I am going to scrapbook them, and if they need to be resized. I can make changes to these files, because I know that my originals and the edited versions are safe in the monthly folder. So I may crop them to 2x2, for example, and include 6 of them on one 4x6 file. I usually have a sketch, of sorts, that I will be working with, so that I know how big I want the photos.

Once they are ready to print, I move the file into a [Ready] folder. Then I upload them to my favorite printer and order the prints. I personally use Wal-Mart, because I’m cheap, but I’ve also been very happy with Shutterfly.

Once I have uploaded my photos to be printed, I can then delete them from the Ready folder, and everything is where it should be!

I use Carbonite, a backup program that immediately begins to back my files up to the internet. There are many companies that do this, but Carbonite came well-recommended and is really cost effective.

Once I have enough to fill a DVD, I will burn the image files on to DVD for safekeeping. It used to take me a year to fill a DVD, then six months…now I am filling a DVD every two months! I make two copies of this DVD. One stays at my desk for reference and the other is kept offsite. You may choose to keep a copy at someone else’s house, or at your office. I keep mine with my 72 hour kit, so that I have a full backup of my photos should we ever have to evacuate. (peninsula prone to tsunami damage, remember?)

I hope that this helps you to develop your own system for dealing with your precious photos! I’d love to hear if you come up with something that works for you! (there is NO wrong way, as long as you are not just deleting the files after you print them..the digital equivalent of throwing away negatives!)

People Matter

People Matter.

My grandpa taught me this lesson years ago with a bracelet. He was a jewelry maker, and someone had brought him this bracelet to melt down and reuse the silver content. They wanted a brand new pendant or ring, and this would work nicely to provide the silver at a reduced cost.

He refused to melt it down. He used his own supply of silver to create their order, and brought the bracelet to me.

I love bracelets, so of course, I was thrilled with a new trinket. It was beautifully crafted and had an old-world charm to it. I was merely a teenager and didn’t understand what he was teaching me at the time. It took me a few years to truly understand the significance of the bracelet.

What he saw in it was something different. There were names etched in each link; someone’s family or loved ones that they wanted to keep close and on their mind.

“You can’t melt it down,” I remember him saying. “These names are people that someone loved. You can’t just throw that away.”

Never mind that we had no idea who these people were. Grayce, Pop, Freddie, Maggie, Mary Jane, Joanne, Jerry, Janette, and Bobby. We don’t know where the bracelet came from – a pawn shop? Flea market? Thrift store? Family heirloom? What adventures had it already experienced before it came to me? Where were these people? Were they even still alive?

My grandpa knew that people mattered.

He proved this every day in his life. He always had time to help someone, no matter who they were. He had a busy busy life, well into his later years. He made jewelry, he built cabinets, he did volunteer work, built dollhouses, he just had a lot to do. He never made much money in the work that he did for others, that wasn’t the point. He let some pay him for his work, but it wasn’t always a requirement.

And he accepted people, no matter what. He had a modge-podge of grandchildren and great-grandchildren, some inherited as my cousins married spouses who came with ready-made families. He loved them all as if they had been his blood kin, anticipated and born in the usual ways. He never differentiated by saying that they were “step” this or that, or “half”. They were simply his grandchildren. He never offered an explanation as to how they became to be his family; he didn’t feel that it was necessary. That they were a part of the family was enough, and they held equal ground with those of us who had been there since the beginning.

He worried about us all, and when it seemed the world was against someone, he was there to be FOR them. He once told me about my parents’ early days, when they were mere teenagers and found that I was on my way. My mother’s parents were enraged, my father’s mother was indignant.

“I took their side,” he said, “Because they had no one else to stand up for them.”

He did what he could to make their marriage a happy event, and not a shotgun affair. He welcomed my mother into their family with love.

I think of him when I see old photos. I always wonder about the person behind the photo; what did they love, what did they fear? How did they live their lives? There is a bit of my grandpa in me as I horde old photos, even if I will never even know who they are. I have to avoid the photo bins in antique stores. I have the urge to buy every one, just to give them a home. I am completely unnerved that anyone would throw a beautiful photo away just because they do not know the story or person behind the image. I simply cannot discard a photo because it has no explanation. It is “people”, and people matter.

I still wear my bracelet, after all of these years. Sometimes, I wear it because it is a stunning adornment to whatever I am wearing. But most of the time, I wear the bracelet because it reminds me of a loving grandfather that always had welcomed any relationship with another human being. A man who valued people more than things, who refused to turn his back on anyone. It helps me to remember always that people and relationships are more important than anything.

It also gives me comfort to know that no matter what, my grandpa would love me. He’s been gone for 17 years now…and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. I miss everything about him. We were not just family, he was my friend and I valued his opinion very much. I looked up to him, admired him. But for all of my admiration of this great man, he would love me even if I disappointed him. He would love me even if I wasn’t perfect. He would love me if I was flawed beyond comprehension. That is a rare attitude in today’s world…it is too easy to cast someone aside when they no longer serve a purpose in your life. Grandpa didn’t cast anyone aside, he didn’t write them off. He knew that people mattered.

And I have the bracelet to prove it!